Ooh baby, ooh baby

We school bus drivers use the radio to keep in touch. It's pretty amateurish; one hears "10-4" used far more often and far less precisely than one should, but it is useful.

And sometimes funny.

Mostly it's for supervisors and the garage passing along information. Or central dispatch looking for drivers who can fill in for other drivers whose buses have broken down, or who are unexpectedly caught in a traffic jam, or who belatedly called in sick. Or drivers who have significant problems to report.

"Base, this is bus 165; my air pressure is falling so I've parked on the side of Edgewater near ...."

"Base, this is bus 279; I've got a Kindergartner whose parent wasn't there so I''m returning him to his school ...."

"Bus 82, this is the garage. Please bring your bus in for servicing before 2:00 p.m. on Tuesday."

"This is base; can any driver second load this p.m. out of Pinebrook elementary for bus 55?

Alas, there are inevitably those drivers who love the sound of their voices who clutter the airwaves with messages we really don't need to hear. "This is bus 497: there's a styrofoam cup on in the right lane of the County Parkway; use extreme caution." Okay, that's an exaggeration, but not by much. I'm often amused (and sometimes nettled) by the superfluous messages that blast though our squawk boxes.

Still, it's a useful tool, the only way to tie together a herd of several hundred yellow boxes roaming around the county's neighborhoods.

But the real joy is that some of the transmissions are just plain funny. My favorite which came deliciously with no warning and no attribution: "I love you, but you still have to move."